That is how I will describe Pittsburgh... like a chick that looks super hot from across the room, but has a snaggle-tooth and go-funny eye when approached... just keep walking like you were on your way to the chips.
See how nice? Well, WRONG. Because A) there are no shops of any interest and B) you're not safe here, even during the day. Incidentally, I've never heard so many people talking about being safe in my life. Not as in, you're perfectly safe, this is a safe place... more like, 'just so you know, I'm a safe person'... which usually means you're not. Every time we got into a cab, the driver professed to us that he was the safeEST. um... wha? Why do you even SAY that? Whenever we'd go for a walk, it would become apparent that it was a BAD idea to continue walking and not go straight back to the hotel. So we really learned about speed-walking while remaining assertive-looking.
Also, the service staff is... interesting? I know I come from a place where the first thing you say when you approach a customer is, "sorry!" Like, "sorry! can i take your order?" or "sorry! do you have your keys so I can park your car for you?" or "sorry! are you done with that drink?" Also, we're really big on please and thank you. A server can come to a table to bring over waters, and EVERY person at the table will say thank you as she sets their water down. So I know that I have expectations about "sorry" "please" and "thank you" but aside from that... the politeness from the service industry in Pittsburgh was lacking. I won't go into details, but y'all need to start being nice. Those 3 phrases alone could make your city safer. Seriously... people being happy as a result and not trying to steal your jewelry.
One of the conference-associate events (of which there were FAR too many) was a baseball game. Pittsburgh Pirates vs. the Milwaukee Brewers. There was a 2 hour rain delay, and were were FREEZING AND WET...
This is Brenna (left) and I expressing our feelings about the whole thing.
But then we saw these squeegie-weenies come out and the cheering was deafening...
I'm telling you, these maintenance men were NOT messing around. I have to imagine there was a fair amount of practicing these tarp/squeegie routines. After they scraped off the water (pretty much totally ineffective in our scientific opinions), they then performed this very, very elaborate in sync walking with the edge of the tarp manouver, back and forth, back and forth again, then some breaking away from the line to fold their part... Then they RE-red-dirted the pitching mound and general bases area. Who gives a shit if the dirt is old? Just play! Anyway, it was interesting to watch. Other things we enjoyed were deciding if we liked the message that each player sent with their chosen music as they approached the field to hit. Also, the crummy food... that was a guilty pleasure for certain.
The next night we went on a river-boat cruise... also conference associated. Apparently, I don't like boats so much. We basically stood there comforting each other while we tried not to barf.
Essentially, it was like most of the conference, trapped in an area with COMPLETE nerds dressed for the most part in laughable ways while we sat uncomfortable outside of the aformentioned dorks. The conference centre was SEVERELY freezing.
That night, after we held down our shitty dinner that was served on the USS Barf, there was a dance. That's right... a dance for the scientists. I shouldn't have to explain what happened that night at the dance, you should all be able to assume what scientists do on a dance floor... but here is evidence, nonetheless. Now, I was trying to be covert, and I stuck my camera on a pile of sweaters, obviously strewn there so that their owners could go bust an AWESOME move, but suddenly a sweater owner came back. You'll then notice the camera moves, yet doesn't turn off immediately... I really, REALLLY wanted to capture more of what was going on, but I finally gave up.
My sister watched it about 45 times. She loved how the lights are all on. In fact, Emily loved it so much and there was SO much to see, that she declared she could do a thesis on this video. If only you'd seen it in real life, Em. This really WAS NOTHING.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed my pictures of Shittsburgh. Sorry, Pittsburgh! Perhaps it was the crappy conference that clouded my opinion of your fine, fine city. See... "sorry"... it does a lot.
And just to leave you with... Lou sleeping (that's ALL SHE DOES).





